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Holding On and Letting Go
At midnight, Lina found herself unable to sleep. She occupied the living room couch; her eyes fixated on the blank wall near her inactive television. Her once youthful spirit lay in ruins, and her self-confidence shattered.
Dongfang Qingcang, adorned in his usual ebony attire accentuated with glimmers of golden fabric, stood in the shadows and observed Lina from the corner, sensing her sorrow with keen perception. Gracefully and unhurriedly, he crossed the room, his left hand resting on his lower back. The trailing laced cape of his luxurious robe swept the floor with each deliberate step until he settled beside her on the couch, a profound silence hanging between them.
Lina, her eyes stealing a sidelong glance at Qingcang, felt the heaviness in her heart and the numbing of her mind. Yet, there was a strange comfort in his presence. “Can’t sleep as well?” she ventured to ask, her voice tinged with weariness.
Qingcang released a deep, resonating sigh, his gaze never wavering from the blank part of the wall. “Not while you remain sad,” he responded softly, gradually turning his head to meet Lina’s gaze.
Lina emitted a faint scoff, her attention drawn towards Qingcang, her eyes tracing his every movement. “Since when do you really care about me?” she asked tenderly, her voice mirroring his gentle tone. Disheartened by her belief in his kindness, she skeptically thought, ‘He doesn’t have a crush on me nor even cares about me; he just wants me for that damn portal.’
A furrow formed on Qingcang’s brow as he delved into his thoughts. “Since the moment I stepped into your world,” he replied, his gaze fixated as it met Lina’s astonished expression.
Lina’s eyes widened in surprise. Merely hours ago, she thought Qingcang had pretended to care for her mental state all along because he convinced her to meet with Yichen. Summoning her inner strength, she asserted, “Pretty Eyes, I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me,” Qingcang rebuked sternly as he turned away from Lina. His words pierced the air, capturing her full attention. “I’m aware of your suffering and your struggle against tears.”
Lina’s eyes welled up with emotion upon hearing Qingcang’s words. “I’ve dealt with this for months…” she whispered slowly, her voice trembling and her despair evident in her eyes. “I can handle another blow…” she trailed off, her voice choked and her lips quivering, looking downward.
Silently, Qingcang observed Lina; his eyes fixed on her form from the corner of his own. He listened intently, his presence a comforting anchor in the storm of her emotions. “I will not allow you to bear this pain,” he firmly commanded, catching her off guard. “I can feel your emotions and thoughts. There is no need to hold yourself back in my presence.”
Qingcang’s words struck Lina, rendering her momentarily speechless. The barrier within her began to crumble, and the sorrow that had been suppressed for far too long surged to the surface. Tears welled up, spilling over the edge of her eyes, as she silently wept without letting him see her cry, her anguish consuming her.
As Lina’s tears fell, Qingcang, connected through their shared bond, found his eyes welling up in response. He wept alongside her, intimately experiencing every ounce of the pain that ravaged her heart. His eyes reddened with sorrow, his throat constricting with a lump that refused to be swallowed. ‘She doesn’t want me to witness her tears?’ he pondered, his heart heavy.
Suddenly, Lina felt the gentle guidance of Qingcang’s hand, the back of her head tenderly pressed against his collarbone to allow her to cry without him seeing it. Nestled against him, she inhaled his familiar scent, finding solace in the shelter he provided. She lost the facade of her toughness in his embrace, allowing herself to surrender to him completely. Her tears flowed freely, dampening the stylish fabric of his robe. Her cries grew louder with each sob, feeling her heart pierced by a dozen knives, accompanied by mournful sounds. And so, she wept, pouring her heart out in a torrent of tears, her emotions released in the comfort of his presence.
Unbeknownst to Lina, Qingcang’s tears streamed, tracing a path down his face as she lowered her head, seeking solace in the shelter of his chiseled chest. Her arms grew weak, unable to support herself any longer. The weight of her unbearable pain bore down on him, and he closed his eyes in grief, experiencing a heartbreak he had never known before, intimately shared through her anguish. His trembling hands released their previous pressure and tenderly came to rest on her head. Bending down, he observed her, her face concealed as she continued to weep, seeking refuge in the shelter of his abdomen.
“I-I’ve been a fool,” Lina stammered, her words interrupted by sobs. “I allowed myself to be deceived for years, unsure if Yichen ever returned my feelings. I wasted so much time believing in a mere hunch that was false. I tolerated that I was never considered worthy to be a part of his family. I tried so desperately to change myself, to become more composed.”
Qingcang remained silent, his tears flowing as he listened intently to Lina’s words. With each cry that escaped her lips, his heart constricted with a fresh pang, urging him to turn away and face the wall.
“What was I thinking?” Lina whimpered, bewildered by her foolishness, her cries growing louder. “Just earlier today, I realized that he always found me unattractive and looked down on me despite all my efforts. Why didn’t he tell me sooner? Instead, he constantly led me on with false hope.” The intensity of her painful cries escalated, each tear accompanied by a stab in her heart.
Qingcang exhaled softly, his eyes shutting as he wiped away his tears impatiently. “Silly Little Human…” he whispered, his voice laced with tenderness. “Yichen’s life isn’t even worth a single one of your tears. He is a stupid and blind fool,” he spoke gently, his scowl slowly forming, his fists clenching in frustration.
“Please, don’t blame him. It’s all my fault,” Lina responded, instinctively defending Yichen.
Qingcang’s gaze met Lina’s, searching for a hint of understanding. “Do you still wish to take the blame for him even after everything he has done to you?” he asked. Yet, her silence was her only reply, for she could not utter a single word. “Never mind,” he whispered, turning his focus entirely toward her. “You’re beyond comparison to anyone I’ve ever met.”
‘Please, no more… I can’t take a blow from him,’ Lina thought, burying the pain deep within. “Qingcang…” she whispered his name tenderly, meeting his gaze with teary eyes. “Do you also look down on me?”
Sensing Lina’s growing distress and the weight she placed on his opinion, Qingcang observed her increasing struggle to breathe as her eyes averted from his. He gently grasped her shoulders with a sigh, lifting her with care and supporting her legs with his strong arm. He settled her onto his lap, his other hand delicately cupping her chin to make eye contact. “I made that statement because there is no one in any realm as special as you are,” he replied softly, his gaze locked with hers.
Lina found herself speechless, Qingcang’s words seeping into her heart and igniting a warm ember within. She had heard countless empty and insincere flatteries from random guys, and none of them had ever felt genuine to her except the words that flowed from the lips of Dongfang Qingcang. Taking a deep breath, she met his gaze once more and softly questioned, “Why did you encourage me to see Yichen?”
Qingcang slowly released his hold on Lina’s chin, his supporting arm securely around her back, ensuring her stability on his lap. “Why does it bother you that I did?” he inquired as he tilted his head, his narrowed eyes gazing intently at her.
“Please, just… answer my question,” Lina implored, weariness seeping into her voice. She sighed, feeling drained of the energy to debate with Qingcang.
Briefly closing his eyes, Qingcang gathered his thoughts, preparing to reveal the truth behind his earlier actions. His brow furrowed as he sighed, his gaze steady upon Lina. “I knew about his divorce before you personally told me. I saw your joy in your room when your teammate told you the news, and I wanted you to be happy.”
Lina’s eyes dimmed with resignation as the source of their misunderstanding became clear. She lowered her head, emitting a faint scoff directed at herself for not questioning Qingcang sooner. “So… that was your motive…” she whispered, her gaze turned away from him, her breathing easing as relief washed over her. “But I wasn’t happy for that reason,” she clarified.
“Then why?” Qingcang asked curiously, his tone tinged with demand.
“Yichen used to be my friend, so I was happy he’d finally be free from that monster, Jianmin. But I wasn’t considering being with him at that time,” Lina responded softly, her voice laced with sincerity.
Confusion etched across Qingcang’s features as he tried to grasp Lina’s perspective. “Then why were you happy when you mentioned the possibility of him liking you?” he inquired. Her lack of understanding only frustrated him.
Directly facing Qingcang, Lina met his gaze and spoke with a gentle determination, “That was after you convinced me to see him. I thought you didn’t care about me, that your only intention was to have me open the portal.”
Qingcang blinked, his gaze momentarily shifting upward as he delved into deep thought. His eyebrows furrowed as he pondered Lina’s words.
“Can I ask you a question, Qingcang?”
Snapping back to the present, Qingcang lowered his head, meeting Lina’s gaze with a focused intensity. “Go ahead,” he replied, his voice gentle yet urging her to proceed.
“What do you truly see me as?” Lina’s question hung in the air, tinged with a gentle vulnerability and a longing for understanding.
Qingcang regarded Lina with a serious expression, his eyes softening as he whispered his response, “I see you as the most precious being.”
Lina felt her heart flutter as she locked her gaze onto Qingcang’s mesmerizing eyes, her own eyes gradually softening in response to his words. “Precious?” she repeated softly, the word carrying an importance that lifted her spirits.
“To me, you are as precious as my own life,” Qingcang declared earnestly, his sincerity resonating through his words. Lina blinked, momentarily losing herself in the intensity of his gaze.
At that moment, the world seemed to disappear, leaving Lina immersed in the depths of Qingcang’s captivating eyes. All her worries and doubts dissipated instantly, replaced by a sense of pure bliss.
‘She is happy,’ Qingcang thought, realizing his words’ profound impact on Lina.
“Moon Supreme…” Lina whispered, her voice barely above a breath, and a faint smirk graced her lips. “You’ve said this to me many times… If you continue speaking like this, I may actually start to believe you,” she teased playfully, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes, capturing Qingcang’s attention.
“Do you dare to question me?” Qingcang retorted, his narrowed eyes and furrowed brow reflecting the curiosity that fueled his response.
Lina gazed at Qingcang with weary eyes, unable to find the words to express her astonishment. She blinked silently before finally speaking up, summoning the strength to voice her question. “Why am I considered precious?” she asked faintly, breaking the lingering silence.
Drawing closer, Qingcang leaned in, his proximity creating an intimate atmosphere. His voice softened, barely above a whisper, as he prepared to reveal his truth, “Because you’re…” The words hung in the air, charged with anticipation.
Lina leaned in slightly, her anticipation noticeable. “I’m…?” she prompted, her voice trembling with curiosity and vulnerability.
Qingcang’s expression turned bold, his voice taking on an authoritative tone as he declared, “Mine.”
Lina’s eyes widened, her mind struggling to grasp the full extent of the Moon Supreme’s possessiveness. “I’m yours?” she repeated, her voice a mere breath.
Qingcang’s gaze bore into Lina’s, a mixture of supremacy and tenderness. “Your life, your mood, your heart,” he asserted with an air of dominance. “They all belong to me.”
Lina locked her gaze with Qingcang’s, and he noticed the way she seemed to lose herself in the depths of his beautiful eyes. Captivated by his bold words, she willingly surrendered to his possessive claim.
In the stillness, Qingcang’s voice broke through, his tone commanding. “From now on, do not shed tears. If you cry, I will feel sad too,” he spoke firmly, his eyes focused on Lina’s long, damp lashes. He gently wiped away her tears with his thumb and palm, catching her off guard with his swift motion.
Lina continued to stare deeply into Qingcang’s eyes, feeling a knot in her heart open up. A genuine smile blossomed from the depths of her being, radiating pure joy through her gaze. Finding solace, she shifted her position, nestling her head against his abdomen, seeking comfort on the couch. His eyes followed her movements, cuddling her head on his lap as she settled onto the couch. “I have something to tell you,” she whispered, her voice filled with a newfound sense of contentment.
Startled by Lina’s sudden words, Qingcang shifted his gaze downward, his eyes meeting her dreamy gaze from below. Anticipation filled his voice as he urged her, “Go ahead and tell me.”
Lina took a deep breath as she recalled a crucial detail of when he had saved her in the sky. “Dongfang Qingcang, who are you really?” she inquired, catching him off guard.
Qingcang raised an eyebrow as Lina’s words hung in the air, intrigued by her sudden interest in his true identity and her observation. “What do you mean?” he asked curiously.
Summoning her courage, Lina continued, her voice steady as she delved into the memory that had sparked her question. “When you saved me in the sky, I saw your wing-shaped aura up close, in full detail,” she began, taking another deep breath. Qingcang’s reaction was not lost on her as she noticed his eyes widen slightly. “Smoke emanated from them…” she added, her voice trailing off.
Qingcang’s gaze looked away, shifting upward to process her words. A sigh escaped him, and he asked, “What are you trying to say?”
Lina pressed on. “I’m not an idiot, Dongfang Qingcang. You’re not a fairy…” she paused briefly, allowing the weight of her statement to settle. “…but a demon.”
The silence that followed was deafening. Qingcang’s eyes widened, his gaze falling as he struggled to find words. He had not expected Lina to see through him, exposing his true nature. Uncertainty of what to expect from her clouded his mind, considering her dislike of demons and that humans and demons were sworn enemies.
Resting her head on Qingcang’s lap, facing his abdomen, Lina let out a deep sigh. Her voice carried a mix of sincerity and regret as she continued. “I know it’s not your fault for hiding this; I’ve said some stupid things about demons, assuming they’re all the same. But meeting you made me realize that I was wrong.” She chose her words carefully, aware of the impact they held. “Everyone in my world claims that all demons are cruel. Maybe the Moon Tribe is different, but… I’m sorry for hurting your feelings with my remarks. I was ignorant,” she said remorsefully. “So, will you forgive me?” she asked, her gaze rising to meet his amazed expression.
Qingcang was rendered speechless. The depth of Lina’s perception and understanding had taken him by surprise. Despite her limited knowledge about the Moon Tribe, she had swiftly uncovered his true nature through a minor detail. Moreover, not only did she not despise him for it, but she also challenged her prejudices about demons and sought his forgiveness.
“Yes… Since when did you find out?” Qingcang asked, his eyes slightly widened in surprise as he leaned forward.
Lina took a deep breath, relieved that Qingcang forgave her, her voice steady as she explained, “I began to suspect it early on when you asked me why I didn’t consider the possibility of you being a demon. But, I dismissed the thought since I had a certain image of demons. Then, I noticed your angry reaction whenever I referred to you as a fairy. But what confirmed my belief that you’re a demon was when I saw the smoke from your wing-shaped aura up close that night in the sky, resembling the smoke emitted by the demons who had tried to kill me.”
Qingcang struggled to find words, stunned that Lina had known his true nature all along. “You continued to treat me as a friend even though you knew?” he finally managed to utter. “So, that’s why you called me ‘Silly Little Demon’ that night…”
Lina nodded, her eyes shining with sincerity. “I’m lucky to have met you,” she replied, her voice filled with gratitude. “If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here, alive and well. I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for me.”
Qingcang’s gaze softened as he looked at her. Warmth spread out into his thawing heart, marveling at her captivating beauty.
She smiled as she gazed up at Qingcang from his lap, her joy radiating from within. ‘You’re a great friend, Pretty Eyes,’ she thought, allowing herself to fall asleep on his lap, leaving him bewildered.
All original additions in “The Moon Supreme, Dongfang Qingcang” are copyright © 2022 by Aurora Luxi. All rights reserved.
Aurora Luxi 